Nervous about vacation

[ian262]

Going on a vacation early next month. It's a mix of family and family friends I've known my whole life. There's a pool at the hotel and I plan on wearing a bikini. I usually wear it by myself so I'm nervous about wearing it "publicly." I'm pretty comfortable with this group and don't anticipate anything negative but can't help feeling this way.

Questions:
1) Should I "warn" them? Like tell people ahead of time that I'll be wearing it?
2) Should I wear a cover-up/shorts to the pool and back?

[TANGA TANGA]

Welcome to the forum, Ian. I'm sure most of us will agree that it is much easier to wear bikinis etc in front of strangers you are unlikely to meet again, than it is with family and friends. Nate, who is the creator of TBD blog and forum, has posted his experiences of this very subject in several posts on the main blog, so I'm sure he will offer you some good advice when he reads your post. You don't mention if you are married, but if you are, and your wife wears a bikini, then hopefully she supports you wearing a bikini and will back you up. If you are single, then it can be a more daunting prospect. You could light heartedly say to the other guys that you'll be wearing a bikini/speedo and you hope they will follow suit. They might think you're joking, but when you do show up in one, at least they can't say they weren't forewarned. If you don't say anything in advance, you could try to be at the pool early to give yourself time to be comfortable in your bikini before the rest appear. Ideally, there might be other male guests out with your own family group who might be wearing speedos, but that is not guaranteed. As for wearing shorts to and from the pool. I think you would have to gauge your surroundings and take in to account the distance you'd be walking there and back and how many people you are likely to encounter. You could always cover up with your towel, but hopefully by then you will feel confident enough just to remain in your bikini. Hope that helps.

[tbdrawer]

Ian welcome to the forums. I agree with Tanga Tanga that it is a lot easier to wear a swim bikini brief infront of strangers over family or friends. I wouldn't say I have a lot of experience wearing them around family or friends. Usually it is just my wife and kids. A couple years ago we did a group vacation with my parents, in-laws, my brother, and one of my Aunts and stayed at a house with a pool. I was nervous about it, but really seemed to end up not many of them seeing me in them. No one said anything about it I know for sure. You can read my post on it here. Having the wife's support in wearing them has really been key to me just wearing them. She was fine with me wearing them on the trip when her parents would be there. Has mentioned inviting her sister and family when we take beach trips in the past though that has never occurred. Guess the key is to be confident, so they believe it is what you normally wear.

As for warning people, that is a hard one to answer. I didn't on my trip, but it was family. Guess it would depend on if that would make you more comfortable. I would think adults would be mature enough to handle it without being warned. Kids probably would be too if not something real cheeky. If you think you need some support with it maybe pick a family member or friend that you feel would give you that support and let them know what you prefer to wear. Having someone to lean on, I find helps reduce the nervousness some.

At the house I just wore my suit to the pool, but only family there. When I'm at the beach or a hotel pool, I normally wear shorts and a t-shirt. Then do my reveal when I get there. At the beach, I've been just wearing my swim bikini briefs back to the car. At the hotel pools, I wrap my towel around me. Would all come down to how comfortable you are feeling in the situation.

Good luck with your trip and enjoy as much swim bikini brief time as you can. Let us know how it goes.

[CrossfiThong]

Hey, welcome,
Well if you are comfortable with this group of friends family and you are sure they won’t say anything about I think you shouldn’t warning them.
Just wear a short to go to the pool, take your shorts off, rock your bikini and (I’m pretty sure they will say something) if the say anything, negative just tell them their are adults and they will get over and if they say something nice or funny just say thank you smile and act like a normal and eventually they will get over as well.
Enjoy your vacations.

[ManlyUndies]

Going on a vacation early next month. It's a mix of family and family friends I've known my whole life. There's a pool at the hotel and I plan on wearing a bikini. I usually wear it by myself so I'm nervous about wearing it "publicly." I'm pretty comfortable with this group and don't anticipate anything negative but can't help feeling this way.

Questions:
1) Should I "warn" them? Like tell people ahead of time that I'll be wearing it?
2) Should I wear a cover-up/shorts to the pool and back?

Welcome to the forum Ian!

I think we all understand your nervous feelings about wearing your bikini "publicly" for the first time. Often when I go to the beach, I'll wear some shorts and a shirt over my bikini, thong, or g-string. When I get out to the beach and we pick where we are going to set up camp, I'll often drop my shorts first, then take off my shirt. This offers the feeling of not being so exposed when you drop your shorts because you still have your shirt on. Then, taking off the shirt is often very easy and there you are in just your swimwear! I'll often do the same thing at a hotel to go down to the pool, but when going back up to my room, I'm usually pretty wet from getting out of the pool and I'll just snatch up my clothes, slip on my footwear, and head out.

1. Should you warn them? No. What is there to "warn" them about? That you are wearing a bikini? You are wearing sport appropriate clothing to participate in a sport? No, I would not bother with "warning" them because there really isn't anything to "warn" them about in the first place.

2. Should you wear a cover-up? It depends on your level of comfort. Depending on the location, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Plan on wearing a cover-up, then plan to not wear the cover-up if you do not need to wear it. I like to go without whenever I can.

Look, here is the thing, this is your family and these are your friends. If you want to wear a swim brief when swimming, it should be of no consequence to any of them. Once they all know that you like to wear a swim brief, maybe you will give one of them the push they needed to go ahead and wear one. I would expect at least one of them to say something. Not necessarily something derogatory, but something. Be friendly and lighthearted about it in your reply. Do not get defensive, they are likely wanting to joke with you a bit. Let it happen, the conversation will flow, and they will be on to some other topic. No one will think anything about you wearing a swim brief and best of all you now know that all of them know about it. If you freak out and get all defensive and tell them all to piss off, they will remember... act natural and calm and no one will care.

Welcome to the fold, I really hope your experience of wearing a swim brief around your friends and family goes really well for you.

Please be sure to come back and tell us all about it. We all love to live vicariously through others, especially to remember our first times.

[ian262]

Thanks everyone for your advice! I really appreciate it. No, I'm not married. I do have a girlfriend but she didn't come on this trip due to work.  
I'm back from my trip. Here's what happened. The group was my mom, my aunt and uncle, two cousins, and my mom's college roommate and the roommate's husband (life-long family friends). I did NOT "warn" anyone. It made sense that I should not have to.

There were two pools at the place (not exactly a resort but pretty nice). One indoor, one outdoor. Weather didn't really cooperate. The first day it rained a lot. I wanted to get to the indoor pool anyway but didn't have a chance.

The next day was warm and sunny. So it was my chance. I took the advice and got down to the outdoor pool early before everyone else in my group. There were a few other people there, sitting in pool chairs relaxing. No one seemed to notice or pay much attention as I stripped down to my bikini. I laid in the sun for a little bit and read, kind of nervous the whole time, and then I got in the water.

The first ones down were the college roommate and her husband. They were in pool attire. I'm actually not sure if you can tell a guy's in a bikini when he's belly deep in water (?) so I don't know if they could tell then about my suit or not. If they could, they didn't react. They just greeted me and asked me where I'd put my stuff so they could set up nearby. The roommate got in the water first and we just enjoyed the water and chatted. The husband got in next. I was pretty nervous. I was assuming they could see my suit but wasn't sure.

Eventually I got out of the pool and walked halfway around it to get a towel from the bin. I kinda looked out of my peripheral vision to see if she and her husband noticed. They definitely saw me but they didn't react in any way. I really think now they just didn't see anything noteworthy about it. But something else happened just then.

The pool is separated from a path between the resort's building by this black fence with high vertical bars. But there's a lot of space between the bars too so you can see pretty clearly through it--it's not like it blocks the view. Anyway, as I was walking along the side of the pool, a pair of older ladies were coming up the path. They'd just arrived and were rolling their suitcases behind them. One of them said to me, "Hi there!" with a big grin and it kinda startled me and then, "How's the water?"  I was like, "Oh, it's good." Then they passed and I kept going to the towels. I looked back and my friends were both smiling at the interaction. I felt myself getting red.

I really feel like it was a compliment though I guess there's no way to prove that or know. It could just be someone saying hi. But I know I felt complimented and my friends' reaction kinda confirmed it.
Things kept happening.
Almost right after the "hi there!" lady, my mom appeared outside the fence. I'd just wrapped a towel around me so she couldn't really see my suit. Though maybe she saw it walking toward the pool, I don't know. (My mom knows I wear bikinis from back in high school. She found one drying when I was in high school and another time coming home early and catching me sunbathing on the back deck. She's actually really supportive.)

She told me everyone was walking into town to get lunch, did I want to go. I said yeah I did want to go and I headed back to my room with the towel around my waist.

I wish the vacation had ended there because the last part kinda sucked.

The next two days (last two days) the weather was cooler--at least not pool weather. Anyway, we did mostly non-pool stuff. 

I headed to the indoor pool mid-afternoon the last day. I wore my bikini straight there from my room because it was pretty close. But in the hallway a woman was coming the other way. She was late-20's/early 30's and round-faced and she had such a smirk like she was just barely containing laughing out loud at me. Like her lip was quivering. I kinda smiled but it made me feel like an idiot. I tried to just shrug it off but it really killed my confidence.

The indoor pool was hopping. Lots of kids and people were playing music but I just slipped into the hot tub for a few minutes then went back to the room.
Oh well. I'm trying to just edit that part out. The trip was a lot of fun. Most of the people with me didn't see me in a bikini and I didn't get any pictures except selfies. But I still got to be myself which is something.

[TANGA TANGA]

Well done on achieving your goal of wearing your bikini as planned and interacting with your own group of family and friends as well as a few strangers. It's a pity your confidence was knocked by the unfortunate encounter with that rude, immature female towards the end of your stay, but that doesn't mean it wasn't a successful trip. Hopefully you will realise that one person's negative reaction is their problem and doesn't mean you have to retreat behind dork shorts in the future. Use it as a spur to make you even more determined to wear what you want to wear and ignore the negativity coming from people you are unlikely to meet again and whose opinions are irrelevant!

[swimmer78]

Ian congratulations on wearing your bikini in front of family! I've done this a few times and it is not easy. Sometimes I fall back to a square cut suit when around family when I'm not feeling especially brave. It gets easier the more you do it. As to the immature woman in the hallway, I know how this feels. On a beach outing this past summer a guy hollered something from his jeep as he was driving by me with his friends. I was having a fun day until then. It shook my confidence also and I covered up. Just as tanga said though, I let it motivate me to be bolder the next time.
I think you did the right thing by not warning your folks about what you were going to wear. There is no reason to be apologetic ahead of time for expressing yourself, provided what you're wearing is a reasonable for the setting. A typical bikini brief will cover everything needed for most public settings where swimming is involved.

[tbdrawer]

Sounds successful trip with family and family friends and glad that situation happen before your latter one with the stranger that took some wind out of the sails. You at least didn't let her stop you from making an appears to the pool/hot tub area. Maybe not what you completely had planned, but not turning around going back to your room is still a success.

[ManlyUndies]

Everyone is exactly on point, Ian.

Congratulations and good job! It sounds like you had a good trip overall.

One tip I have for dealing with people like that lady you met in the hallway:
Look her dead square in the eye; I mean look through her eyes, right into her soul. Then, when you have her eye, put a nice big smile on your face and just say "Hi." You don't have to be goofy about it, you don't have to be overbearing, you don't have to overdo it at all. Just give her a genuine, nice "Hi." Doing this really disarms the situation as most people don't expect that kind of thing, but it is exactly the sort of thing normal people do. Ergo, it normalizes the situation, and with her looking at your face, she is not looking at your suit.

If you need to say more than "Hi" then just say "Have a great day!" When I have done exactly this kind of thing in the past, people seemed surprised that I was genuinely a friendly, nice guy. It sort of obviated their fixation on my bikini to engage with them on a different level.

So, just get out there and wear your bikini. Be friendly, but not creepy, to other people.