The Bottom Drawer Forums

Hey Ben,
Welcome to the forum, I am assuming we are not gonna see you back beside this topic because you are not very interested in underwear, but, you are always welcome to try something new. I think all the wonderful members of this group have given you great advice.  As other members mentioned before, underwear just clicked on us in our young age, so, it looks like that is setup. period. So this is mine. Since you are divorce, the first problem is that your ex could disagree with some decisions on your kids. so this case will be one. 
First: this is your chance of winning your kid over your ex  , being the cool and supporting dad, and reinforcing the bond between you and your kid. 
Chat with your ex about the curiosity of your child and mention that it's just underwear, very different than usual, and tell her that he is gonna wear a bikini or bikini brief, nothing alarming for her like a thong. Once she agrees about it,  the next step is with your kid. 

So, this is terrible advice. Talk with your kid and mention all the advices the guys gave you, and suggest to him that he is gonna wear bikinis or bikini briefs,  or something less daring for school and for his mom's house. and on the days he is staying with you, you allow him to wear thongs, OBVIOUSLY not telling his mom and his little brother about it, it could be your little secret. 
So, in this way:you will win his trustHe is gonna be safe with you, without exposing himself in an uncomfortable situation. And his curiosity is gonna be calm for a while. 

so last but no less. These are my suggestions about what underwear you guys can try and be comfortable with. 
Jokey is a very, family friendly brand, perfect for take them to school or his momshttps://www.jockey.com/catalog/product/jockey-m ... color=4671

If you wanna try something more daring , brave person brand is amazing, and so comfortable.  (and affordable, of course)
https://www.amazon.com/Brave-Person-Com ... RW21J&th=1

this is another option if you want to try something sporty.https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CKYT6994/re ... GhlbWF0aWM

and the thong option for beginners, definitely JM, the best and most comfortable I have ever worn and all the guys here are gonna agree with me. 
https://www.jm.ca/skinz-thong-88165.html

So, good luck man and it looks like you are a great dad since you are looking for some support for your child.  Congratulations. 

Microbikiniman wrote: Thu Aug 01, 2024 10:39 pm Ben, I may be going out on a limb here, and I will choose my words carefully, but here goes (and I welcome feedback from the other married Forum members with a child or children): your ex (like everyone else) has a right to her own OPINION, but NOT her own "FACTS". I put "facts" in quotes because she may be caught up in the "herd mentality" that microwear makes ANY man of ANY age gay. And she has NO proof of that. NO ONE has ANY proof of that! What's more, her "stellar" behavior towards your 14 yo leaves her running the risk of alienating him to the point of rejecting her altogether. (This might just be the first step on her part.) I've got more to say: "parent's rights" do NOT include violations of a child's personal rights, and that includes reasonable choices on the child's part which are NOT offensive to society in general, AND give the child a chance to develop the good judgement which he or she needs to be a successful adult. The point has been made that choices in clothing, grooming and the like are normal, natural and NECESSARY. A strict "self-righteous" approach is just an excuse for causing real and lasting harm. (The excuse for cockfighting as "part of the culture" in some countries is just a blatant excuse for deliberate animal cruelty, for example.) Underwear (including hers AND your son's) IS a PRIVATE matter, NOT on exhibition to the public! I'm sorry for what all of you are going through and you are in my thoughts and prayers. One thing "Miss Congeniality" seems to forget is that both of your sons are closely watching how both of you are handling this situation. Your stated impression of her is not good(!) I hope that the two of you can maintain reasonable lines of communication for the sake of your sons and yourself. (As for HER sake,,,seems like she has some HARD lessons to learn!) Now here's my fantasy (!): you help your 14 yo pick out some reasonably-priced microwear (thongs/bikinis/string bikinis), inform the ex that he will wear and enjoy what HE wants because it meets YOUR standards for comfort, support AND is NOT morally offensive. HER behavior IS offensive, and is not acceptable. (One more good point: your son can wash and rinse his own microwear in a sink, and dry it overnight. I got the idea here on the Forum, and it's easy. Why should SHE stoop so low and support "degradation?") I think I pulled more chains than in a bulb-socket factory, but enough is enough! All that said: Ben, this "dust-up" is yours to handle, not mine, but her approach to this difficult situation may be so bad that you wind up with full custody, and that may not be a bad idea. Her behavior could become so repressive that both of your sons may wind up having a poor opinion of women in general, whether teachers, job supervisors, neighbors, you name it.

You make some good points! I also agree that yes both my sons are watching how we both react to the situation. I know my sons are getting older and realize that their parents have different opinions. Which is okay but you are right how we react to the situation they will keep notice. What if something serious happens and needs to be talked about. I hate for them to think we’ll can’t go to dad since he freaked about underwear so not going to tell him about anything actually serious or concerning. I did discuss with my ex already and I will let you and everyone one know how it went. Thank you again for taking time to write it means a lot

David_NC wrote: Fri Aug 02, 2024 11:41 am This will be partially off subject. Ben you mentioned shoes and how cruel some people can be. Way back in the 90s there was a relatively new company called British Knights, their shoes looked a lot like Nike but cost a lot less. My parents were not rich, comfortable but we didn’t splurge on items they knew I would grow out of. So I got a pair of British Knights, they were so cool looking, wore great, and I liked them. They have BK on the side, so I got picked on by the Nike wearing bullies saying I was wearing Burger King shoes. It hurt my feelings but I didn’t care because I liked them. Similar to when I got my first string bikini, I liked them but would never let anyone see me in them. Later on I work trunks, my dad thought I was crazy to buy underwear for more than $30 when he could get a 4 pack for $10. If he only knew my underwear price stayed the same but the material got a lot less.

That’s interesting I never heard of that brand but I do understand what you mean about kids being cruel. That is one of my concerns about him wearing thong. I mean even if a peer sees him in white briefs or underwear with holes he will get made fun of. He is an active boy and likes to be outdoor. He plays sports such as basketball and karate and he loves swimming so he is around other peers that may wear the typical boxers I’m sure.

CrossfiThong wrote: Fri Aug 02, 2024 3:37 pm Hey Ben,
Welcome to the forum, I am assuming we are not gonna see you back beside this topic because you are not very interested in underwear, but, you are always welcome to try something new. I think all the wonderful members of this group have given you great advice.  As other members mentioned before, underwear just clicked on us in our young age, so, it looks like that is setup. period. So this is mine. Since you are divorce, the first problem is that your ex could disagree with some decisions on your kids. so this case will be one. 
First: this is your chance of winning your kid over your ex  , being the cool and supporting dad, and reinforcing the bond between you and your kid. 
Chat with your ex about the curiosity of your child and mention that it's just underwear, very different than usual, and tell her that he is gonna wear a bikini or bikini brief, nothing alarming for her like a thong. Once she agrees about it,  the next step is with your kid. 

So, this is terrible advice. Talk with your kid and mention all the advices the guys gave you, and suggest to him that he is gonna wear bikinis or bikini briefs,  or something less daring for school and for his mom's house. and on the days he is staying with you, you allow him to wear thongs, OBVIOUSLY not telling his mom and his little brother about it, it could be your little secret. 
So, in this way:you will win his trustHe is gonna be safe with you, without exposing himself in an uncomfortable situation. And his curiosity is gonna be calm for a while. 

so last but no less. These are my suggestions about what underwear you guys can try and be comfortable with. 
Jokey is a very, family friendly brand, perfect for take them to school or his momshttps://www.jockey.com/catalog/product/jockey-m ... color=4671

If you wanna try something more daring , brave person brand is amazing, and so comfortable.  (and affordable, of course)
https://www.amazon.com/Brave-Person-Com ... RW21J&th=1

this is another option if you want to try something sporty.https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CKYT6994/re ... GhlbWF0aWM

and the thong option for beginners, definitely JM, the best and most comfortable I have ever worn and all the guys here are gonna agree with me. 
https://www.jm.ca/skinz-thong-88165.html

So, good luck man and it looks like you are a great dad since you are looking for some support for your child.  Congratulations. 

Thank you responding. I know many have suggested me trying them haha I will keep an open mind. We’ll see although I do prefer trunks I don’t mind spending money on good trunks. So if y’all have any suggestions let me know. I have talked to Ex and will let everyone know how that went but thank you for the links to some suggestions to look at. The separatec ones look nice and will show my son. Snd see what he says. I have thought about that too having a talk with him and is brother and wearing them only at place and many have suggested that so that’s sounds like something I’m going to consider.

I have talked to my EX and I will let you know how that conversation went. I do want to say sorry for the language as it got heated and by no means is a representative of my character I just lost my cool.

Ps sorry for punctuation since writing from phone

So I ended up talking to my ex wife. Let’s just say things got heated and it wasn’t a super long discussion. I suggested to her that the underwear he wants doesn’t seem all that bad. Her response was “ There is no way in f ing Hell my son is going to wear underwear like that.” I told her I thought about it long and hard and decided to buy him the underwear he wanted but I will suggest bikini as well. That didn’t help she said “bikinis are for girls and thongs are for girls.” I told her “ Listen I understand if you get upset if let’s say he wanted to wear my little pony underwear or Barbie underwear but the underwear is for guys”. She then proceeded to say that he better not wear anything like that in my house and that if she saw it she would throw them away. I told her “it’s just underwear for God sakes. You making a bigger deal about it like always.” She then said “ what will others think of him if he wore those they might then he is gay” I said no one is going to see him and I will have a talk with him and the younger one about it.” I told her he isn’t gay and even if he was so what that doesn’t change anything he is still our son. “ I told her “ I cant believe your so closed minded and how an article of clothing makes you gay” she says “thongs are for girls and if a boy wants to wear he must be gay” Is that so “so what your telling me is that your a lesbian?! It’s okay if you are?” WTH No!!! How am I a lesbian?! she said. All I say is “ I just assumed your a lesbian since you wear boy shorts when we were together. You go on about how comfortable they are.” She gets mad and says “ that’s different they are made for women” …. I laugh and say “ do you hear yourself! Let me educate you on why there are called boy shorts! They are called boy shorts because they look like the f ing trunks that I wear and so you do agree then about him wearing thongs” She says “No!!” I’m super annoyed with her and say “ you just f ing said the boys shorts are for women even though they are basically men’s trunk style underwear. So as long as it’s made for a women it’s okay then the same goes for the thongs since it’s made for a guy!” (Should have seen her face ) she stays quiet and rolls her eyes like always and then says “whatever I’m not buying him any and he isn’t wearing them in my house. It’s my house my rules.” Then I will get them for him. The she starts again with “ he doesn’t need underwear like that” I interrupt her and say “ah ah ah my house my rules!!! Two can play at that game. I only brought this up out of respect since your his mother and I’m not going to stand here and criticize his choices. (Shouldn’t have said this but came out) ~> The last thing I want is for our sons to feel like they have to hide their true selves from their own family just like how you and your whole family hides who they truly are from each other. Please you can cut the tension with a knife and act like you all don’t stink. Pretend to care for one another and then turn their backs when someone needs them the most. If there is one damn thing I know is that my family wont turn their backs on me and my sons just like how your family turned their backs and talk sh*t about you and your own relatives. I know your family didn’t care for me and that’s okay since they weren’t mine. Although I will say I do feel sorry for you and your siblings and cousins you can’t be you in your own family and that’s sad. I wish you well just so you know if that’s what he wants I will get it for him he can keep all the thongs he wants at my place. I’m sure one day when he has a gf or bf if he was gay. I’m sure they would like that underwear style and accept him for who he is. In case you didn’t realize I’m sure there are girls and guys that like their bf or husband to wear those kind of underwear.” End up talking little more then hanged up the phone basically all she said in the end was “ whatever you do want you want” that was end of that conversation.

Holly sh*t!
It got from 0 to 100. Again you’re an amazing guy and father.
Unfortunately this is just the beginning of your journey with your ex.
It’s our pleasure to help out, sorry things got out of control but your son is gonna be grateful to have a supportive father like you.
And as you said, the best way is that he keeps his staff in your place for now, until, she came along or he stands up for himself, or even decides to live with you 100%.
Either way, good luck and if you like trunks, Rihanna’s underwear brand has amazing silky boxers.

https://www.savagex.com/products/men?na ... size=false

And hopefully this is the last conversation you will have with her about it. For now on, focus on your kids.
Good luck!

CrossfiThong wrote: Sat Aug 03, 2024 12:29 am Holly sh*t!
It got from 0 to 100. Again you’re an amazing guy and father.
Unfortunately this is just the beginning of your journey with your ex.
It’s our pleasure to help out, sorry things got out of control but your son is gonna be grateful to have a supportive father like you.
And as you said, the best way is that he keeps his staff in your place for now, until, she came along or he stands up for himself, or even decides to live with you 100%.
Either way, good luck and if you like trunks, Rihanna’s underwear brand has amazing silky boxers.

https://www.savagex.com/products/men?na ... size=false

And hopefully this is the last conversation you will have with her about it. For now on, focus on your kids.
Good luck!

It did and I didn’t plan on it getting a little out of hand. My intentions were to bring it up to her out of respect that she is his mother but like always she only sees what she wants. Hence one of the many reasons for the divorce. All I plan to do is focus on my sons and go from there I will keep you all in the loop on how it turns out if you would like. And didn’t know she had a brand that’s cool I definitely will have to check them out thank you for the suggestion.

Sorry it got out of hand with your ex; however, thanks for advocating for your boys. I am really glad they have you. You are great dad. This will end up being a minor blip on the road hopefully and will have a major long-term positive impact on your boys!