How did you overcome the social stigmas to be more confident?

[Guitar T]

I’ve been wearing thongs and G-strings for so long now, I’ve almost forgotten how I overcame any stigma’s about wearing them.
I’ve always worn small undies, never boxers or larger briefs, string tangas were the earliest undies I can remember, it was just what I wore, nothing special. Over the years I’ve significantly enlarged my collection, now in the many hundreds, I wear Lululemon shorts almost all the time, except in the deepest winter and almost always wear a G or a thong, if you look you can clearly see the outline of them. I always wear a G when doing CrossFit, people can see what I’m wearing, as I’ve got older I care less what others think and do what I want and wear what I like.
I suppose I’m lucky as my wife likes what I wear too.
I do have some very small outrageous undies that I wear to the beach, but obviously not around families, I think it just comes down to confidence, hell, I even went on a naked bike ride recently around Melbourne city,
We’re not long here, life is too short for regrets.

Thanks for the response! Seems like you've found the happy(ier) place on this topic.

I've thought about them on lifting days!! Just definitely am blocked on both the social side and anxiety. Think that'd be a huge bridge for me to cross. I live in a smaller pretty conservative town in the US, so I definitely worry that bringing up the old memories of being the odd one out in school so long ago - weird how those stay with you and elicit such strong responses still.

Do you feel more supported than a jock? Or do you just barely think about that they are there anymore?

I, too, understand the very conservative small town experience and how difficult it can be. That is why as soon as I could I moved away and never looked back. I was a true outsider in my home town. I sought my own place and community to fit into. And, to this day I have those old scripts hit my head when I least expect it. The further away from the past the less power those old messages hold.

Today my gym attire is definitely unique. I get many compliments from fellow gym goers. I tend to wear either very bright and colorful leggings (fuchsia, bright blue, and the like) or crazy bold prints. I always wear a thong. I never liked the jockstrap, especially with leggings. If you think a thong outline is visible, I found a jock is even more so visible. I find the thong much more comfortable.

In general wear what makes you feel good. When you feel good those around you will respond in like. Smile and be friendly and others will find your someone they want to know.

[NoOnesOnion87]

My only phobias were having to buy my skimpies. Wondering what the store's cashier might be thinking of me as she is scanning the price tags on the selection of thongs and bikinis I brought to her *or him* to ring me up. The worst had to be at Frederick's of Hollywood back in the late 80s and early '90s when they had a small selection of men's thongs and G-strings. The women who worked at FoH were always so pretty and feminine, I would be embarrassed for them to ring me up, and I'm sure my face was red with embarrassment as I stood before them!

[AZThonger]

If wearing underwear, what’s really the chance anyone will “accidentally” see it? So just start wearing them more and more. You’ll get comfortable with it.

If swimsuits…sort of the same. Just start wearing them. Maybe at first in “safe” situations where you’re confident nobody there will know you. The more you wear them the more you’ll realize nobody cares as much as you think they might.

[OR-Tacoma]

Well there were a few things that helped me:

1) My wife has been super supportive of me wearing thongs and G’s—and she loves me to buy them for her. If I had married someone more closed minded, I don’t know how it would have lasted or how I could have been myself.

2) As time went on, I gained wisdom and attained perspective. I felt free to be myself, and developed a sense of what true healthy masculinity is. I moved away from friendships that were not supportive, and I was able to establish a supportive friend group.

I am at a point where I am a mature male. I wear thongs. If you have a problem, then why are you staring so closely and so focused on that? And I know some women know that I am wearing leggings (and probably see my thong) and like it.

3) I think the body positivity movement was helpful. I also live in a more progressive area, which is helpful. Though, I also know there are plenty of thong couples in “conservative” areas, so it may just be that people’s underwear choice isn’t as out there.

4) Knowing that there are more men that wear thongs with more brands available, also helps things a bit.

[gstringkini]

Took me a long time to get over the hump ("what if people see me?".......). Finally, I said heck with it and started with bikinis......and quickly went to thongs and then gstrings. I wear gstrings most of the time now. My wife was cool with it pretty much from the start (lucky for me).....


OR-Tacoma is right: it's more "normal" now and the brands a starting to get it, too, since there are a lot more choices.

[Pennbikini]

I guess I had a bit of an inside track since I started wearing bikinis and string bikinis when I was 13 years old and it was in the late 80s. So I've been wearing them (with the addition of thongs around 2000) for all of my life. I've noted on other posts where it was a funny thing a couple of times where, years after college and grad school, I'd be in a locker room for some reason or another (usually manufacturing facilties) and I realized at one point that I was the only one in anything OTHER than boxers and boxer briefs! I've kept myself reasonably fit and I think that probably my underwear choice has had a hand in maintaining that...don't get me wrong -- I'm not ready for a triathlon, but "good enough" for my age. Haven't had too many adverse comments in the locker room, especially not in this century. (When I was 15, the school's creepy janitor was cleaning the locker room while a boy's gym class was changing and I was wearing Jordache string bikini briefs and a cropped T-shirt and he said to me, "can you even call those underPANTS?" Riiiiight...

And in all likelihood, no one is going to see them unless you do it voluntarily and in which case -- go for it. I've told the story elsewhere too where I was in Spain and had a spinal injury (I essentially broke my lower back while encountering a mishap with a bed, of all things) and I was strapped to a backboard while wearing what I'd been sleeping in: a blue Joe Boxer string bikini and a white T-shirt (and being numb from the waist down -- which was the main thing I was focused on in that situation, TBH!) In such situations, it's not really something to worry about.

Other than the whale tail, VTL, or your brieflines, You can manage your way through that too -- I had two notable whale tail experiences, one with a colleague and one when I got pulled over for speeding by a state trooper. I had a black CK thong on both occasions. And one time I remember looking in a mirror in a restroom in a law firm I was working at in DC that had mirrors on both walls and I could CLEARLY see my camouflage Prevail Sport bikini briefs through my cream khakis...oops...